Ok. Where in the world did this year go?! I’ve just arrived back to the USA from my year in Vietnam, in true shock and disbelief that it’s already over. So many emotions. And so many things this country and it’s incredible people have taught me. But before we get into that, let’s rewind a bit, shall we?

One year ago I stepped foot in Asia for the first time. I remember it like it was yesterday- the taxi driver dropped me off from the airport in the middle of a chaotic  Ho Chi Minh City, greeting me with a whirlwind of senses; the thick humid air squeezed me tight with a big sticky hello hug, street food smells of BBQ pork mixed with the pungent garbage-y odor of Durian, and MOTORBIKES. The sounds of motorbikes honking in symphony, dancing around me like drunken college girls at a nightclub.

Ok ‘Nam. I see you. Bring it on.

There I was, plopped in the middle of this foreign chaos with a one way ticket, a suitcase stuffed with a year’s worth of beach clothes, an inclination that Da Nang would be my destination, and well, that’s it. No job, no house, no contacts, nada.

I mean, if I could live a year in a tiny rural village in Spain as the only foreigner, I could live in a bustling city of Vietnam easily! Am I right?

Weeelllll my friends, turns out, the answer to that wouldn’t be a simple right or wrong.

The challenge.

I expected to become one with the Vietnamese culture in the same way I did the Spanish culture; learn the language, have all local friends, participate in all the traditions and cultural festivities, become a pro-cook in the Vietnamese kitchen, and essentially, become a Viet!

Yea… didn’t exactly go down like that. What I learned reluctantly is, fully integrating myself into the culture wouldn’t be that easy. What shocked me more than anything was how truly different, down to the smallest T, Eastern vs. Western cultures are. No matter how hard I tried to dive in head first and fully immerse myself submarine-style, at the end of the day I still found myself floating, surrounded by expats in the “Western bubble” (which lemme just say, is an amazingly warm, inspiring, passionate bubble to be in!).

At first I fought it. But as I came to terms with the fact that our cultures are just so different, I realized that “blending in” might not be in the playing cards. And that’s alright.

Now, I did make some amazing Vietnamese friends. And I did learn tons about the culture, what makes Vietnamese people tick, how their past defines their present, and how genuinely kind they are, I mean down to the core. Both countries I’ve lived in (Spain and now Vietnam) have taught me so much about my own values, the world and the kindness of people, each experience unique and invaluable. So, without further blabbing, let’s get to it.

Vietnam, thank you for these 5 life lessons.

Lesson #1: There’s nothing as damn exhilarating as driving a motorbike…on the wrong side of the road.

So this won’t fly in most places of the world. But man, is it fun to drive a motorbike! Especially when there are virtually no road rules and even if there are, everyone’s breaking them. The freedom you feel when you’re weaving through traffic on your daily commute, whipping through mountain roads with your biker squad trailing behind you, recklessly driving on sidewalks or zipping down a residential alley to get to your favorite noodle joint…reckless? Yes. Fun? Hell yea. The lessons here? Well firstly, life is better with a motorbike and I will buy one here in the US (don’t worry mom, I’ll follow street rules). Secondly, street rules are overrated.

Lesson #2: Your body works better on noodles.

Or at least mine does! There’s a reason why Vietnamese people are all so damn thin. Man, my body has never worked better than when eating Vietnamese food. A rice-based diet packed full of veggies and broth, I felt like a new person eating like the Viets. I naturally lost weight, was light on my toes, and never felt like I wanted to roll over in a dark cave and hibernate for a season after eating a meal. I’m taking the core elements of the diet with me back to the US – more veggies, more rice-based things, and eat till I’m 70% full. (Well, at least a girl can try.) Watch out USA, the new diet trend is in… The VietDiet, yours for $1 million! Or fly to Vietnam and get it for 3 bucks.

Lesson #3 : Recognize Your Cultural Reflex

What’s a cultural reflex, you ask?? No, it’s not someone hitting you in the knee and you yelling back “culture!!” It’s that immediate feeling of criticism and/or judgment when you see something culturally contrary to your own. When I first arrived, I found myself in a constant state of culture shock – from judging the blasting techno music in coffee shops and screeching karaoke coming from my neighbors house at 7 am on a Sunday, to mindlessly throwing trash on the beach and the cultural tradition of eating dog meat. These are things that drove me crazy, and even made me resent the culture at first. But what I came to realize and recognize, is that those cultural differences are just, well…different.

To me, a dog is a family member and an intelligent fuzzy friend with feelings. To some Vietnamese, a dog may not be seen as much different from a chicken. To me, leaving your plastic coffee cup on the beach is like a blatant “fuc* off earth, youz ugly anyway”. To many Vietnamese, environmental awareness is just something that hasn’t been learned. Once I started recognizing these “cultural reflexes”, taking a step back and trying to understand the context, my outlook and experience in Vietnam completely turned around.

Lesson #4: Don’t hate. Appreciate.

Among both Vietnamese and expats, unfortunately it’s a well-known fact that foreigners make about 5 times as much (or even more) as a Vietnamese person for the same job. Let me show you some painful statistics. Give or take, an average foreign English teacher in Da Nang makes about $18/hour. An average Vietnamese person makes about $2/hour. Terrible, I know. But here’s the amazing thing – Vietnamese people know this, and are still just so grateful and excited to have you there. My Vietnamese co-workers forcefully refused to let me pay for coffees or food when we went out together (they would even sneak to the waiter behind my back to pay for it). Like whatttt?! If that was the case in the US, people would be rioting on cars, burning down schools and kidnapping the foreign English teachers. But in Vietnam, they’re just happy to have you there.

Lesson #5: Genuine kindness is much different than politeness.

It starts with their smiles. I mean, look at Thuong! You couldn’t fake that smile if you tried. Vietnamese don’t just smile with their mouth, but with their eyes – and in their glimmering eyes you can see it’s coming straight from their heart.  But that’s just the surface stuff – as you get to know Vietnamese, you’ll see it gets much deeper than that. Vietnamese people’s true, genuine, huge-hearted kindness never stopped filling my heart with warmth.

One time, I forgot my wallet at the gas station. Some no-name guy saw my panic, dropped the gas guy the money…and drove off. Then there’s this artist DeeDee. I mentioned to her one random night out that my mom loves paintings with Vietnamese girls in rice hats, and next time I saw her, she pulled out a nearly completed painting for my mom. My lovely landlord took care of me like I was family, and even drove me to the airport on my last morning in Vietnam.

And my students. They exemplified the biggest hearts of them all. I worked at an IT company teaching business and conversational English to adults. My students were just so genuinely interested in everything I shared with them and excited to have me there. From inviting me to their weddings and bringing me back the most thoughtful and unnecessary souvenirs from a weekend trip, to each writing individual notes of gratification at the end of the year for me to read on the plane. I got to know my 46 hard-working students on a deeper level than just the “classroom” and they all taught me a lesson or two on what it means to be genuinely kind.

Thank you Vietnam, for your amazing memories. Thank you for your balmy tropical air, your coconuts, your motorbikes and your huge hearts.

Until next time, ‘Nam…

Hẹn gặp lại!!!

Have you had a similar experience living in Vietnam? Let’s talk about it!